It’s when the light flickers that special moments tends to manifest themselves.
When the light bulb in your brain goes on with a life changing idea, when it goes off quietly at the end of someone’s life. Lights, switching, swaying, with every emotions awakening.
A sparkle in your once cold heart, a new shinest in your lovers eyes, a sun rising on a silent morning, a star glowing brighter on the stage of life.
Sometimes, its when all lights dies that magical moments takes the first act of an otherwise regular morning.
That’s how I’ve found him. Laying on his right side on the left side of his life on a cold, damp, unlight, stairwell hotel. It was the fourth try, I’ve been going in circles for 15 minutes, trying to find my way out of an »elevatorless » building, stuck in the upstairs of an edifice with no more electricty in his veins. It was pure coincidence that I stumbled upon him while he slowly stumbled on his faint self.
His gray hair matched the grey tones of the ciment stairs, his hands fiercely holding the bottom of the ramp and his dear life. He was encircled by four other women, one of them his beautiful wife, the others random angels that just happened to be there at the same time I sleepily opened the door clueless to the commotion of this urgent situation.
Instantly, my vision became sharper, my breathing became deeper and I was grounded in the present moment. Walking slowly towards him, accessing everything that was happening around me, them, us. Who was doing what, was he breathing normally, how his eyes looked, a deer having seen headlights.
Carefully, I sat next to him, shoulder to shoulder, like an old lover you are happy to see again.
-Hello my name is Nadz, I’ll stay with you. What is your name sir ?
For his weak voice to answer, looking at me way further then just at the finishing lines of my eyes, like he was reaching for my soul.
– Hello my name is Maurice, did I just died and went to heaven ?
His beautiful wife grinning at him with loving eyes and touching my shoulder.
I will stay with you Sir if you allow me. The other three angels, Charlies, busy calling 911, while I’ m here with these two lifelong lovebirds.
A millions sparks are illuminating my brain at this point.
(Insight of Nadz brain in a nanosecond)
Wish I had what they have. A love, another human to share life, to hold their hands, litterally, when they fall, counting years and wrinkles together. The others are talking with the paramedics on the phone, ok cool, how is his body temperature, good, how are his pupils, good, how is his heartbeat, ok, where is the nearest exit, check, does he have a bag to puke in, I run to my room, come back with one, sit back really close to him, he gives me his hand, I hold him and love him like I would love to be loved in a situation like this, check the time, calculate the distance between where the ambulance is and here, listen to the windy storm outside, check the status of his wife standing up helpless in the corner, sharing my smile with hers, both are with teary eyes, asking her gently to sit down as well while waiting for more help, I do not want another one to fall, make sure I have my cell phone on me, my room key as well, breathing in and out, staying grounded and aware of everything. Finding some acupressure points on his wrist that I press without him knowing im actually treating him to relax and making his head rush calm down. Making sure I remain calm and steady so he remains calm and steady, emanating a dim light of well being and health towards him, wonder what I’ll eat for breakfast, wonder who would do this for me if I fell, no one, I have no one, went to the hospital myself last week for testing and I had no one to put down as an emergency contact, maybe i’m made to be an angel, floating away but never being attached anywhere.
__________________________________________________________ (sound of a lightless heart)
The ambulance is on its way, it will arrive late because of the storm having a party outside.
He holds my hand tighter, we are in our own bubble now. He says to me in my ear, I don’t know who you are or what you are doing but I feel better, not my best shape but definitely better then before.
– On scale of one to 10 sir ?
–I was a minus 3 (in my mind, ok this would probably count for a 10) now i’m a four (so minus 3 to a positive 4, would be like a 10 and now a 3)
– I’m glad Maurice
We both smile, he relaxes his hand in mine but still holds it. It’s been a long time since someone held me like this, with meaning, a real human connection, we are all interconnected, wish more people would realise that.
We vibrate together.
And no I don’t mean that in a sexual way, perv readers!
His wife needs to leave to attend a conference she has to go to. She is now crying because she is leaving him behind. He is crying to, holding on to his angel while saying I love you to the love of his life.
I am directly in the line of loving fire. Between husband and wife, between love and faith, between what I’ve been longing for so long. Life gives you glimpse of what you ask for but always disguised in a form you could have never predicted. Feeling this beautiful loving moment throughout my whole body and I feel lucky. To be alive, to be here, to be part of something bigger then myself.
I hear the sirens outside, they are calling our names. The doors at the bottom on the stairwell, many floors below, burst open, the light at the end of the tunnel. The magical moment is quickly lost in the madness of paramedics running up the stairs, walkie talkie making conversations amongs themselves, and cold air rushing in.
We exchange hands, giving him away to them, like a father giving his daughter to his soon to be son in law.
He stops halfway
– Nadz, thank you, thank you so much.
-You’ll be alright Maurice, thank you for being you.
He is crying now. His hand gripping my arm is warm now, his eyes shining brighter, life flowing freely. Holding his 70 years gaze into mine.
I feel blessed, to have crossed this young man path.
I get up, turn my head away so that he doesn’t see that i’m crying too.
Take my first two steps slowly,
to make sure
and I rush down
towards the light.
See you soon Maurice