Dick picking!


(By the way, this song is supposed to be a fun way to laugh at this whole dating process.)

Soooo, I’ve received yet another dick pic last night….after the other 2 ones from the day before.  Yes they exist, and furthermore, they seem to be the online dating normal currency.

I’ll never get used to it.

When, between a

Hey

How are you ?

How’s your night’s going ? 

does it degenerate after 10 more minutes to

Hey

here is my beautiful dick for you to enjoy!!!

And them BAM, you get dick slapped right across the face all over your Iphone floor!!!!

It will never cease to amaze me.  As a mature well-raised, well feed, with organic grains and all, type of woman, I used to delete them, out of respect for the person (stranger) sending them.

FUCK THAT, no more i’ve decided since last night.

I’m building a nice little dick library now.  From small to large, from hairy to shavy, from straight to curvy to gays, I don’t fucking care, you send them, deal with it, it’s mine now.

Sometime a picture actually represents a thousand words!

Maybe one day I’ll print them all on some very nice, very glossy extra-large frames and hang them in my bathroom for a bigger than what anyone ask progressive art exhibit.

The dick pic phenomenon should be on the cover on the Time magazine as the new dating money exchange.  Oh my god I can’t wait for the new Iphone 18 that will probably come with a scratch and sniff app…….

If I look at all those strangers dicks, does that makes me a voyeur without even asking for them?

I’ve been trying, honestly, to wrap my brain around this dick orgy that seems to be happening freely on my phone and I really don’t get it.  Well I do get them…the penises, but I don’t get the mind frame behind it.

Maybe i’m too old for dating in 2018!

They seem to happen more frequently after dark, you’ve been texting to this sweet man all day, the sun goes down and suddenly they are out of things to say I guess and turn into some sex hungry men sending dicks around to whoever will suck the bait.

I’ve even tried not texting too much, doesn’t matter, after dark, the dick pic feast fuck fest happens either you want it or not.  Too bad, you can’t escape the dick storm.

It’s raining dicks!

It’s weird how I never get a dick pic featuring a small dick or a soft dick.  Maybe, I should think at it from another angle, if the guy doesn’t send you his dick photo as a token of his appreciation, it maybe not be that he doesn’t want to but rather because it’s too small to show!

mmmmmmm….maybe that’s another theory, who knows, watch me win the Nobel prize around it….

And don’t even get me started on the Netflix and Chill sentence……

Fuck, who the fuck do they usually date?  Who are those women that are making me feel so fucking dumb?

For those of you out there, in the nice comfortable world of a long term relationship, let me enlighten you to the wonderful candylike world of the dating circus.

A man text you …..Hey, wanna Netflix and chill?

Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun for your dear vagina life!

A man text you…..Hey wanna cuddle?

Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuun for the nearest intelligent women’s shelter!

If a man calls you Babe, Baby, Hun, Love, Darling without having met you once?

Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun

A man sends you his dick all filtered up and nicely zoomed in and erect, keep the pic and plan a future wall exhibition.  Fuck it!  Wanna shake it in my face….face the consequences.

I’ve been running, a lot, sometime I feel so alone at night I wonder if I should keep on running or just start pretending that I don’t see through them.  I should just smile, be my pretty self that I can so certainly be and just settle for less instead of this alone king size bed.

Then I remember, who I am, where I come from and where I wanna go and I wake up from this nightmare singleton life.  I’ll be alright alone.  I can’t pretend, I can’t lie, it’s not me and I won’t settle for less ever again.

I am greatness, I want greatness!

And you can suck my balls….oh wait…..

Anyways…moving on…

I went on to yet another fake date last night.  Fake because I see through the fakeness of the words said, the looks that are more focused on my boobs than my face, I don’t even bother telling them stuff about me anymore because I know very well they are just trying to make up their minds if they want me well done or medium rare.

I want them out the door.

Nadz, you are very beautiful and soooo hot, do you wanna make out ?  

…………(in my mind, hum, I don’t think so, remember I already saw your dick anyways and thank you for the compliment but …)

Thank you, you are very kind, but I am tired and I would rather you leave

Awkward silence (insert elevator music here)

……………………………………………………

What!  You don’t wanna make out with me?  What is it you don’t find me attractive?  You don’t think i’m all that?  Are you sure?  I’m not gonna be here forever?  I want you so bad, i’m so hard, for you, all I do is think of you, y…….

…………………………………..

I hear someone still talking but………………………..

……………………more elevator music……………………………………

I’ve blanked out, thinking about what the hell I am doing with my life!

Hey maybe, if you pull down your pants now and take a pic and send it to me while I go in the next room it will make you feel better?

I don’t actually say that but I sure thought it and I try very hard not to laugh right now.  I don’t pretend to be better than anyone, not at all, but I want at least someone that is honest, about what he wants, from him, from me, from us.  I would have way more respect for someone not sending me pics and just being upfront.  Something like,

I like you, I don’t know if I want more but I would like to have sex with you. 

Is it so hard (not the dick here) to say?  To just speak your mind and mean what you say?

Don’t sugar coat it with weird things like Netflix and shit.

Netflix never asked for it, unlike you, Netflix has been there for me in my not so glorious days.

If I want to watch Netflix i’m usually in my ugly pyjamas, ordering some not so flattering take out and I am probably not smelling my best.  If you want that version of me, then yes, come right over.

Yahhhhh, that’s what I thought….

I’ll take you rare then, like the men species i’m looking for…….

 

Mouah

 

Nadz

 

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